I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
