But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
