i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
