6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Panties = found
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
