dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
