Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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