Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
