Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
