Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
