Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
