haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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