I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
