i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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