girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
