I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Randomize
