Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
