i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Randomize
