i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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