She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
