did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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