Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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