Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
