They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
