the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize