That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
