You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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