Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
