There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Come share oat with me in your robe
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
