I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
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Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
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Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize