Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
