He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
