So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Randomize
