I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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