how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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