it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Randomize
