I wish my penis had an off switch
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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