you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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