I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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