I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
