New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
