do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
