i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
