Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
