can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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