So drunk its hurt
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
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I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
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Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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