Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
