he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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