This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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