I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
