The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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