we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
