I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
