But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You left your underwear on the fireplace
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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