just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
