my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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