forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Randomize
