HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize