Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
