went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
