did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
