I seem to have left my pride at pride
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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