Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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