i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
